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Creating a Parent Partnership: Sharing the Value of Montessori

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On August 12th Sue Pritzker, AMI trainer and consultant, joined us via video conference to discuss some essential Montessori principles that span the early childhood, elementary, and adolescent years, and to offer touchpoints for Montessori in the home. Visit our Parent Education page (under the Parents tab) to download Sue's presentation slides.

Show Transcript

so I went to give you a sense of what I see I see a scoreboard so I know I'm going to gym and I see a few people's heads but I see only Silhouettes so it's kind of an interesting idea but I do know your Montessori parents and that makes you in a special class the people because you're making or have made a great leap into looking at and engaging in a Montessori Community which will honestly change your life I have done all things that we never talked about but I'm also a my story parents I have two daughters one is 35 and one is 29 they both were in Montessori sixth grade through the elementary years they didn't have the opportunity to finish with an adolescent program because there was not one in Portland at the time one of the most important things that I can say to you about Journey you take us to Montessori parent is some of the people though it's a small group I can see it's a small group but I know that you have a classroom full of other parents and some of the people that you're bringing me to send think password are going to be your best friends and some of the children that your child needs to pick Catherine will be their best friends one of my two of my older daughters Bridesmaids her friends from Montessori and one of my daughters bridesmaid but she only had one was her best friend for Montessori so it is a journey not only for you as a parent but also for you as a member of a very special community and I like to believe that parents are Partners in our efforts within the school setting to work with your child too Optimum experience in their childhood and I'm hoping that we can just talk about a few things that really make Montessori special education system and then I'm also going to talk about things that you might be able to do as you work with your child at home some things that you can carry over in your work with your child so if you give me just a second I'm going to share my screen and you won't have to continue to look at me for too long despise chat room closed in my slideshow started so it was very important thing for Lena to have me talk about this parent partnership in part because as a new head of school she's going to have the new experience of being partner with you as parents at Saint Catherine I think that when we in Montessori we talked about this essential triangle and that triangle is a child for the points of the time triangle are the child and the parents or family and then the classroom or teacher those three things working together or going to create an environment for your child that they gross their first potential and I think his parents that's all we can ask for all we could even help her I want you to think that's talking about your own story with education think for a minute about why you chose a Montessori School some of you probably chose this program in the middle of covid-19 you had very little chance to even get inside of the building or to see the materials but you read about it enough that it triggered something in you that said this feels like the right decision for me for my family and for my child about your experience on did you go to pray when you were young will you in daycare when you went to school was it at kindergarten age or first grade were you in a public school a private school was it very traditional we are living in a Time many many people that come into Montessori schools as parents actually had the opportunity to experience a Montessori education themselves but whatever that background and experiences it's going to affect your decisions and your view of the experiencing a child is having many many of us have chosen for our children amount of story program because of the fact that we were looking for something different I'd like to say that we see something different and you was a parent will see something different the moment you walk into a Montessori classroom no course going to depend on the age of your child if they're starting as a toddler you'll see a beautiful very organized environment everything is down low but you see lots of activities on Strauss and you call don't see the food when you come just to walk through it without children but if you're a toddler parent you can be guaranteed your child is going to work with water and they're going to have a lot of food because those two the things they like water and food water. play in water to wash clothes in and food anytime they can get their fingers on it when you go into a primary classroom and this environment that you see here is a primary costume it might going to be an after-care program once again everything is at the level of the child look at the chair or the stool and the table and the activities that are on the show if you look at that environment what you see he is things are planned they're prepared in advance as a parent you can see pretty quickly that difference in a Montessori environment if your child comes up primary or what we would call Children's House or primary level that means they're in the program for children who are three years to six years you're going to notice when you go in and that everything is very quiet and it's show working industrious Lee I think most of us think of preschool anything before kindergartener kindergarten age as usually pretty wild it was just the time that you got kind of thrown into a room with a bunch of chilled get ready for kindergarten but in Montessori because the work that she did was based on developmental Cycles the early years from 3 to 6 are the years that we give the child work independently they're always working in a group and parallel play or work but they also have a chance to work at a table by themselves if they like and why is that because Montessori said these children are at a point where their brain development is happening one child at a time and when they can manipulate materials feel them and touch them and move them and learn the law I wish that goes with us materials all of that information goes in the brain at a time where that information is being categorized from Age 3 to 6 you might be surprised if you walk into an elementary class if there aren't individual desks all in a row and the reason is because development Lee Montessori knew that children and age 6 all the way to 12 are social beings even put them in a chair and a table in a row they're going to do when they can pass notes to each other I know I did to my friends we had those desk that would lift up and you know every once in a while you'd lift up your desk and see all the notes that you were passing the Montessori said why would we do that when what they want to do is to be together so she envisioned and created an environment where they can be social beings and it's an adolescent program we created in Iron Man either on land or even in the urban setting where there is a lot of work a lot of industry and that there are students are that age a little bit closer to traditional education but they are still working very independently and they are working on things that will really help them become a citizen and how did this all happen I like to say the fair four major principles of Montessori even though we could talk about the materials and we could think about walking through the environment and looking at what activities of child is going to you I always believed in and share with new families these four principles because they actually take us across all the levels in Montessori we know that Montessori is an approach to start a child's developmental Tendencies across those levels and you can see these things that are on the right hand side happening in every Montessori classroom that you go and chill so I want to take Justin to talk about these and for you to think how did these play out one of the basic principles in Montessori is that all children enjoy and seek Independence in fact that is promise that we use in all levels that our goal is to help the child continue to reach greater and greater Independence they're not going to be independent when they're 18 months to 3 and yes if you see them in an environment you can see that they're making choices of what they want to do maybe when it's lunchtime and future will come around and say would you like some more carrots or would you like some more potatoes whatever that option is that Independence is reach to the extent that it can be reached at Children's House or in the primary 6 year old also had this increase in their independence when they first come in they have older children showing them what to do but they can be independent and shoes in the materials that they already have had lessons on they can move the tables around if they need to they can invite friends for snack they're all these different activities to all the levels that's in the areas we call practical life in area code the language materials of the math materials in all these areas of children are having an opportunity to increase their independence when they're in the elementary program even though their social beings we give them the opportunity to really understand themselves as learner so they have something called a journal that they ride in and they write in their journals daily they track the work that they do they work with their teacher to make decisions of what research they're going to do and what research they're going to write about and which other children in might be working with their often brought into a lesson in a group all of those things are designed for that Elementary which child to work more independently sometimes in Montessori schools if the if we have the ability to do it children weren't going out or going out might just be going to the Upper Elementary classroom in order to get a reference material that they need or moving around the community to be helpful maybe the elementary children are going to help with toddlers at all levels that idea that we are working with him the child has the ability to become more and more independent not only in the work they do but in their social life and their ability to become an important member of their class community a second major principle that you would see throughout the levels in Montessori is that children are capable of deep concentration now it is true that that deep concentration is very small when you have a toddler maybe 5 minutes you might see it either concentrating for 10 minutes or 15 minutes but you don't have a high expectation about how long but when we present to them. opportunity to choose work what happens is that they stay focused and concentrated on work that they want to be doing we have pediatric neuropsychologist that have done a lot of work and searching my story and they talked about what is distinct and unique about Montessori is that when the child comes into the classroom and they these things on the Shelf where they see an older child doing a piece of work because it's every level there's going to be mixed age groups when they see something that they're interested in a neurological process starts and that process has to do with chemistry and when that child is doing what they want to do they have the potential to concentrate in a very deep way and we now have all kinds of brain research that proves this across the levels you have you can see that potential of children really working for a very long time on a project it's also why we offer that 3 hour work cycle that longer works out so we don't interrupt them I know that one of the things that even though I was a trained Montessori and I work for many many years in the classroom sometimes when your administrator or head of school you know your walk in the class because you're like I have something I have to share I need to give a message or whatever and for the longest time I had to keep catching myself and not thinking that I can just walk in and because I was ahead of school I had an important message so I had to stand at the door and really wait and not interrupting you will not interrupt the teacher or the child until I could see that there was a moment to jump in and that is a basic premise across all the levels 1/3 principle and Montessori is it each child is a unique learner and Montessori in her she spent many many years in her early life and I think many of you know the story or her story that she was a physician the first female physician in Italy but she also did a fair amount of work in institutions with young children who had neurological deficiency and a lot of the work and even the materials that she devised came out of that time that she was working with children that had a variety of limitation in terms of their cognitive abilities here is the interesting thing she created an environment and an educational approach which would allow every child to be successful in his environment and the goal was at the chi shirt would observe and watch the child and be able to see how you neatly each child learn we know that not every child that leaves the primary classroom and goes to elementary is thankfully our total reader and we don't expect it we certainly have the materials give them the option of being able to really connect with the material but every child is going to learn at their own and what we do with the teacher does is continue to enhance the environment or make offerings that will attract each child individually and I can't say enough about observation I'll do they how did they do that because they get to be with the child for three years and because they know them by watching them so intently and the sports principle that you'll see across all levels social harmony except when meaningful work is being done you know the number one thing that Montessori said is children want to work they want to do what adults do and you know we use the word work and Montessori really interchange that word with play she didn't see a distinction between play and work it's meaningful activity that the child is choosing at any given and it allows them to finish projects and feel successful and then they share that success with other people in their classroom some children are great artist I mean I had a child what time is only for in a primary classroom and at Christmas time he could actually drop danger that's pretty phenomenal for a 4 year olds to draw a reindeer to have that skill level and he not only helped one else become better artist but he often willingly created great art for the whole community and so what happens when everyone sees everyone else pranks is that they create a sense of how we work together and how we are together cities for principals as you walk through and had the chance to see and observe all the levels of Montessori and so fortunate to have all those levels know they have matured as a school so that they have the ability for children of all ages to take advantage of this program so let's talk about this value of seamless education what is Montessori and what does it mean that it's seamless education you know we know that one of the things that you and along with most parents that I know she was Montessori in part because they would like to move away from a more traditional system where every year means a new teacher cops if it's a public system on new curriculum where things are changing all the time there is such value in knowing that Montessori philosophically is it considered one that goes across the ages but it's awesome for you to know that Montessori is global the international headquarters of Ami Montessori is in Amsterdam and Montessori programs are around the world master programs are in public and private charter schools and all Montessori program no matter where they are in a small village in Africa or a large public Montessori School of 500 students in the United Easter China all of this people think of Montessori is being an aid to life that we are watching this child and doing an adjusting as the adults we are adjusting to help give them what they need and it Montessori schools are communities Montessori call that first experience Casa Dei Bambini a children's house because she wanted to distinguish it from what she called the old she tried intentionally to label what she was doing as building Community not just creating another type of school in Montessori all the pieces fit together into that continuum so here's a picture of that continue on all my survey teachers who take Montessori training see this chart and I'm just going to very briefly explain it to you and you might have heard this might have seen it in material that you've already received but this is based on the resurface that Montessori did you out here career and she Define and describe these four planes of development and she called the construct called them to constructive Rhythm of Life the first plane is ages birth to six that plane is walking into two parts 0 to 3 and 3 to 6 and the only difference in those two parts is that the child is functioning from birth to three in more of an unconscious mind with an unconscious mind they are not consciously doing all of these activities to what they're drawn to but from ages 3 to 6 in a primary class that child is because more and more intentional about what they want to do what they want to choose and how they decide to work with the materials and with others the second plane of development is ages 6 to 12 and most Montessori School some Montessori programs have 6 to 12 all in one classroom but most divided into ages 6 to 9 lower elementary and 11:51 Upper Elementary the second plane of development you'll see I'm just going to mention the different colors we call it childhood and it's blue it's a calm time of life in terms of brain activity and brain development and if you go back to the first plane you see that red likewise in the third plane of development during adolescence there's a huge amount of energy and brain activity that's going on and the Fourth Plain which most of us don't explore in the Montessori fashion there there there might be programs for 18 to 24 year old but they're rare it's really where the human is moving into an age of maturity planes of development all teachers use these plaintiff development to understand the child provide the environment is appropriate to where they are at each level also Montessori administrators or head of school program directors they also use these to help us explain to parents what's happening for children at each level because of that Continuum across the levels so what do you need to know disappearance about Montessori guide we sometimes call them A specialized generalist the fact is they have taken this extensive training in am I if you cease year or the equivalent of a year stepping all the materials at the age level they're working at learning how to observe very deeply and letting all the various things that they need at that level to offer the child everything that they need but what's really interesting is that this guide is also with your child for three years and what they know over those three years who the child is they know exactly what the preferences are of a child you know when we work in the primary level very often a child comes in and shoes the same piece of work free single day and sometimes that's just security for them but sometimes you just practicing over and over that can happen to the elementary child in terms of their working Partners who do they want to do research with all the time but when a teacher has the opportunity to work with those children over three full years they know them really really well and that's child anywhere at st. Catherine's is probably known in the larger community and that's the one thing it's really special about that Continuum is that that child is known the toddlers are known by the preschoolers are the elementary children that come and maybe walk them out cider play with them in the playground high school students that return if you have an adolescent program just through the middle years when high school students return they often replied highlight one nothing about what they really remember about their Montessori experience and that is their guide they thought of their guide is a friend as a resource someone they could always go to and ask question. I Was Your Man this one high school student said but we are we really learned to know that our elementary teacher whenever we went to ask them something they would often say that's a very interesting question where would you like to research that to find the answer they're always there for them that means it Montessori kids are comfortable approaching adults I will say to you that my experience as a parent is that I have two adult children who in their lives and in their work one works at the college level with students and one is a nurse they have the ability to communicate with other people their needs their observations and to collaborate in a way that is noticeable it's something they are always told they are good at elementary school learn who is a good person to work with and who was not you know in elementary you'll you'll have to a child when they say they don't think I should be doing another project because you know what we just talked all the time and we're not getting anything. and so that means if they begin to identify for themselves with their own academic strengths are this Montessori guide is a specialist that knowing your child working with them over many years helping them identify their interest and their strengths and places that they need to specifically work on the guides tools for bring the child academically and socially so just look at this for a second I want to tell you about what I believe is the process of how a child learns and I alluded to it if minutes ago when I talked about that brain process but this cycle of learning works at all levels in Montessori and all classes and we now know from brain science that this is how it works and how concentration is it starts with interest your table comes in Sometimes they come in knowing something they're interested in on a given day they look around and maybe they're too something choosing something and when they start to work can something get really interest them it causes them to repeat and repeat some of that happening neurologically because they don't stop themselves they just stay focused and they do it over and over again and that feels that concentration and then what happens comes the Mastery with a child has done this in repeated something and tried it and F different ways they actually can look up a go wow I know how to do maybe they're going to go ask a jungle child I can show you this I just learned how to do this I know how to do it really well all of these things happen where the child is building on your Experian until they get to the point of Mastery and I think we all know this as humans as adult Learners that when we feel successful with something it from Moses desire to try again go back do it again that's what happens that's what we see in the classroom is that success breeds success and that is what we're learning for so the goal is the teacher is helping you know your child she doesn't through observation she works all the time within the social environment to make sure that your child feels like they belong in that environment they're always watching to see if they're bored or challenged in other words they're looking to see he is that child shooting work that's truly calling to their interest maybe they'd finish something and they were very successful and the teacher observe so carefully and record Stitch careful notes about their work that they know just exactly what is the next thing to Showdown going to be really flexible the child might say no I don't really feel like doing that today and then maybe the next day the teacher said do you feel like doing that today and also they seek the answers when there are problems Montessori teachers know how to take problems apart watching carefully why is that happening last yesterday you could do it really well but today they can't why is that so we know that is the most motivation for future success and that's done by this trained and skilled guide knowing what to do with your child so you look further at this. My story is All About these are some of the essential things that your child is going to get in whichever classroom there in a set of materials it's appropriate developments that training guide a teacher whose Innovative always thinking always thinking how to connect the child knowing when to step in that side always has what did they do last where were they say what's the next best thing to give them and knowing which lesson to give that is what makes Montessori so special because that guide will specialize and end you realize your child experience the guide is trained to observe with great detail they keep notes on all their lessons they practiced with the material sometimes teachers will have a child this inches and a piece of material that doesn't get used very often or hasn't been taken off the shelf for a while and they're going to early in the morning and they're going to read through their albums if they have on how to prevent all these materials and they're going to come in and practice they're going to keep those notes in practice and increased their skills often the assistant is going to also support them by taking observation notes when they are sitting quietly in the room and observing and supporting the teacher the guy keeps copious notes your child's progress and they have three years in an adaptable curriculum that curriculum is adaptable it if everything doesn't have to go in exact order and that's was so beautiful because how can find the interest and stay with it for a while and because the classroom a lot allows that social interaction the teacher that the guide is able to support their social emotional development they help them good things about how to moderate their emotions know that young 34 year-old it gets really really upset when things don't go the way they want them to and the teacher is skilled at knowing it's sad how to step in or how did you Grace and courtesy lessons to practice what to say the Wet Sprocket for a minute about how parents can use some see skill that you just heard about in Montessori at home I'm just going to give you a couple of examples so we talked about observation you don't have to take Montessori training it's really important to just be present and be very quiet and just notice notice what's happening with your child be careful to offer choices to your tie if you have a child that's in the younger years and you're having a terrible terrible time with him getting dressed in the morning or going to bed at night that's where you can use the skill of offering choices by limiting the choices that they have a good example would be making sure that in your child's closet that or in a Cupboard opening up that they have a limited number of choices so put six pairs of pants in one drawer six shirts in another drawer socks in another drawer and I have a seven year old and five year old grandchild and I know they have a lot more than those choices but it will really help them to limit the number of choices so they don't open a cupboard and overwhelmed by what's in there and also if they're staying with you know maybe that the school has a if they're going out an elementary for some kind of a field trip in a day and the rule is supposed to wear long pants in the right clothes toed shoes today and your child is saying no I don't know where address then you can take these are the choices also you need to give them time try not to rush them realize that some of you might have one child that can achieve certain things that have your first child who can very quickly learn how to tell time and know when everyone's going out the door and when to be ready but the second child not so much so you want to give each child with the amount of time that they need to be successful it's really really a good idea to ask questions so notice yourself if you are approaching your child in a time when your rush or a time when they're having a difficulty if you could start with the question by saying I'm observing your house a hard time can you tell me what's Happening Here or you seem to be really upset I know you were having an argument with your brother can you tell me in your words what is happy and sometimes I know you can't go that slow but if you can remember and think did I ask a question first it's going to set up your interaction with a child so that they will have the potential to be successful an answer if you ask questions that you know that your child might know the answer to and they can give you back the answer 6s notice those two mental changes you do have a chance to read a little about Montessori find out what you most three and four-year-olds are capable of I'm going to tell you a very easy one where you roll during a very interesting time with their life Mini 4 year old who have been completely confident begin to be frightened they might be afraid that their parent is going to die they might have to have night they might even begin to wet their bed at night that is completely normal developmentally and that's because the four-year-old child is growing so they can get a sense of what's happening in the world and the more they know about the world of more like see that some of these fears might be coming up because they are beginning to live more and more outside of themselves and the last thing is think about when there are challenges problems for your child at home are you providing the structure just your child really know what to expect because Austin if a child is having a tantrum is being really difficult and they are developmentally to Stage that they're going to be difficult having some structure and some limits will actually be good for your child because it helps them move forward Jared's can focus on what the child please if you just take that opportunity to think about and look through your child's eyes no parenting is so much about timing when do we say something when do we pray that's something have we given enough time to be ready to go on a trip have we told them my grandma doesn't really like for you to play in her living room with all those beautiful things so maybe we'll see play out of the living room preparing them when they're going to new places maybe you're taking them to a concert for the first time and it's important to say it's going to be very noisy and you can tell me if you want to be in my lap if you want to sit next to me just preparing them for the things that they are going to happen when the child brings homework from school and I'm not quite sure how they do that at St Catherine but when it does come home making sure that you just say tell me about your work or if they do a lot of artwork at home I know we have to do this with my granddaughter because she never stops doing artwork so she gets to the died at the end like a maybe a few days or a week or whatever and her mom says to her okay let's go and create your practice you know style and your practice pile and then she'll go through I don't really care about that anymore it's just practice and then the pile of the things that she really wants to keep if you're such a few more ideas we observe the child's interest the academic the manipulative and the social we observe both of those things we see how they manage with their friends with their guides and with the materials and that materials at home we try to know this like if it really are tired of Legos maybe they don't want to do Lagos anymore and you're going I would really like you to play with these Legos because they are all over the house but that might be where you stay I didn't say gosh it seems like you haven't been interested in your Legos should we put them in a cupboard for a while because you'll probably get good information from your child observe what is hard for them some children do not read when they're five or six some children don't really learn to understand the concept of math processes until they're 78 even 9 just make a note of what's hard to them and try to adjust remember that were able to help them see their progress over time when you save the work they do they look back and you can show them look at how you were writing your letters when you were three and look at them now it's really helping helps them recognize their own progress you are important to this community and I am not intimately involved in the Saint Katherine Community but I know I've been there before years ago I know it's a quality program and with quality staff B continue to work tirelessly Opera full continuum you're going to find a way in with your individual class or community-wide or with the couch pieces whatever is your interest find that way that you feel that you are can contribute to the community because the more you're involved the happier you'll be because we like to feel good about our work I want to tell you about the family here wonderful family and the two girls in our school and they both worked full-time and their children were in all they care all year care and we had to wheat weekends a year when we get what we would like open house for people to come in and help us with work parties and these two parents would say we're going to clean the Ficus because this is a this is our adult date and we're going out and if we're both working together we can work on The Ficus and we have lots of time to talk to each other and it was just very sweet that they found this way twice a year that they could come into the school have this time to contribute and also spend time together how can you come to know Montessori and I've had a great experience with Lindsay or these last weeks and I know she's does a great job with all of the communication to take advantage of reading the literature that comes to you participate and volunteer when you can and ask questions I put down here and blue Montessori teachers do sleep so just a reminder we live in this age of constant availability and your teacher make young children at home and therefore she does her work after school or they might have a hold your children and they're happy to leave the school and do some work at home just find out when they're available and remember they do have 85 children in their classrooms that's a lot of moms and dads and they may not be able to get back to you within a nanosecond so make sure that you are being reasonable about you Quest request and timing in terms of communication with the teacher I shared this with you this was my tie in my calculus parent handbook I really like it it's I just acknowledge that and I know that it's true that Saint Catherine that families are an integral part of our school community and when you're joined by that, instead of beliefs and purposes the school in PA when does powerful team with far-reaching positive effects on your child and the entire Community just as Maria Montessori believed that the child who is the band gauged in a functional social community at a early age will become a responsible citizen in their adult life we at the school recognize that teaching our students effectively requires collaboration between parents guides and Dennis traitors all members of the child's family are encouraged to participate in the way that it works out for you and the school it's an encryption education class activities volunteering and Community gatherings Montessori is a family affair it was always a family affair from the first Casa Dei Bambini this is a event that we used to have at tailpiece it a couple of times of the year this is a lower elementary group that group of children are four of them have no five counting the one that's over on the left and behind they've done their research project together and this is a time where parents are invited in grandparents older siblings and the children have divided up the research project that they didn't they each resent and I want you to take a quick look at the mom that's on the right on the floor with the coffee that look up engagement excitement pleasure Joy that's what we're hoping that you are going to feel with your child in a Montessori School and that takes a very strong triangle with all of us and for your benefit because this PowerPoint will be available in a PDF for you boy there is so much that you can look at instruments of resources for you I have always use even as if they were written a long long time ago the book all of coquillard and that is Montessori a modern approach that's about the primary years and Montessori today which is about the elementary years gives you a great parent to real-time what happens in the class and about the materials and how the teacher works and Paula's daughter who's also called Paula Lillard press that wonderful wonderful monitoring she has just that was her first book and I love it it's about the joy in Montessori is called the mosasaurus potential and it is written for parents and on the right hand side I love to give you this connection to I'm sorry in Renaissance at the school in Southern California but on their website it isn't available to anyone they have this section is called resources for parents and has fantastic and then also I put up here for you for the Ami USA website has a section for families with lots and lots of resources thank you so much for bearing with me through this and I think I stayed to my 40 5 minutes and I'm going to get out of my presentation and I'm in a done with it let me just accident all the way and come back to you all thank you so much so can you hear me I can buy ride wonderful that was great thank you so much so we have a moment or questions you have any questions that might come up or do that was great thank you and you never know when you're talking with a group of parents that you don't know and who are actually only Silhouettes so I'll let Lena ask after your question and repeat it to me so I can hear you and I'll do this perfect. Just raise their hands. are you there Lena yes so where did you hear that I couldn't hear any of it child is trying to do something and they're not being successful at it when is the right time to step in as a parent to help on ask the parent for me tell me about the incident and it actually helps me to answer if I know tell me about what was happening and how old the child is an example was was that they're trying to put their shoes on and they're trying and they're not being successful time what moment is good for a parent to step in it once again it's always going to be dependent on the child the family the time what happened before what happened the day before so that's where you're going to observe and if the child is when you come up the house is saying no I can do it myself or no you do it I can't do it you want to find the way to help specifically in the moment so it might be there could be several things that you could say one would be would you like help with and many of these things I don't know who you are but you might have already tried some of these so apologies in advance if you did would you like some help with it no I want you to do it you go actually I would love to help you let's see what if can do it together now you would be having in your mind were they successful before and they're just tired today you might decide to do it but you might say are you really too tired today live in tomorrow you can say you know I can't use the excuse that you were tired everyday I know you had know how to tie your shoes but I'll sit next to you while you do it so continually you find a way to offer up chance to make it possible for them to be successful so ask her if that helps at all or if I've gone off track to her question reminds me of scaffolding so that you could go buy them and it's like okay well let's try you put one shoe on let's just put your toes all right okay keep going keep going to go yeah but I do try to find some shoes right and then it's like okay well let's let's try just a little trucks and it starts couple it and then do you know nothing nothing nothing better than being in a toddler community and watching a patient Montessori guide wait while a child gets a sock on if you want to know about how to view International negotiation that is it I mean dirt just stand there in where they just wait to the child can get that pull the sock off and get one till when it's it's phenomenal and that's what it's about but it's also I want to be very clear this is the art of it you may know as a parent that your child is not ready to be pushed to do that maybe they've been trying at school on the bow time frame and they haven't been successful so maybe you might write you no to the teacher and say I don't want to do too much or too little have they had a lesson on the boat I'm French maybe the older sibling is coming and go just hurry up I can do it for you you do something so many different scenarios. . okay so what do we do when a child is mastering the Practical life but not be academic and is more interesting in that then the academics okay can we tell me the question one more time and how old a child is how old is the Practical life that in the academics and his mastering practical life but not the academic oh well welcome to the world of being an adolescent you know there's so many different answers to that question but I mean one of the things that happens for adolescent at Chow piece we are very Urban adolescent program and the chill one and we only had 7th and 8th and I will say because we never were able to push into the high school years but we would find that our adolescent students were typically like that and because know this student I don't know their history I don't know your adolescent program I want to keep it simple by saying it would be really good if you have not done this to really read some solid talks about the Adolescent brain because that adolescent I believe is doing what they feel successful at and they do not feel successful they do not feel successful in their social relations very very insecure time of life they will tell you all about who they are hanging out with and their friends and they're going to be maybe they're online with their friends all those things are happening but that child does not feel secure I remember one time an elementary student left child peace and when they came back for a visit and we are having a chat makes it is hard to explain it stupid it feels like everybody in Middle School it feels like everybody's look at you all the time and that's what an adolescent feels like so they're going to go to the place of safety so I just because I don't know the program very well I would say stay the course in Utah dialogue with adolescent staff are they worried about where the academic star you're worried might not be there worried they might see the basic skills there so just keep on in that communication but no a child is that you just described to me is typical not a typical is that helps trade on just it's okay they're not spider shoes it's okay then it's part of why they don't need to tie their shoes or that they don't need you to a cat thank you and as Montessori and we are committed to make sure that your children have the skills they need to live in this society that they're moving into if it's tying shoes we do want them to tie their shoes because when you get to elementary nobody's going to tie your shoes for you for very long I mean there are some realities so I don't want you to think that we are not recognizing the need for I'll get those skills I'm talking about the process of creating the very very nuanced and very subtle so that the child can feel sick yes. For the child time the shoes you might say what part of this can you do most even young children and cross them over and fold them I'm guessing to do that and then you say it today I'll do the next part for that adolescent student if you can't I don't know your relationship with a child or any of that so speaking out of turn here you could say where is me a little bit you're only doing those things and you know can we talk about it I mean if it's an adolescent you might not get too much information out of them I'd like to  you about the communication with the guys too and just sharing you know that three-legged stool I know that you mentioned two as well just sharing something you know what you see in the classroom with serving as well in the classroom and how they can best support them is not a completely but we have to keep talking in that back group the school and the parent the child that we have to recognize that we do want the best that child just like you want the best for your child and we're moving forward together and we're not asking you to just say blindly okay and not noticing that ask question next question I have one last question brake question absolutely yes the question is could you speak a little bit about the Montessori middle and high school and community and the effectiveness of Montessori education and that Play No development the question is a lot of people talk about it more for younger ages but I can speak a little bit about the effectiveness of the airplane so you know let me put it this way when I first agreed to do an adolescent program and go beyond the sixth year I really wanted to make sure I understood it and we really spend a lot of time to sign this it's a big step because it is an age of development that is fraught with challenges but I can say to you unequivocally that after Let's see we started our adolescent program and maybe 2006 15 close to 20 years now between maybe Leicester city 15 years. child almost to a to an individual has been successful in high school has been able to finish the Adolescent program and this is just a middle school so I'll have to defer because I don't have a lot of experience in the high school years but they are successful in knowing how to the skills of learning know themselves as Learners they know how they learn they know who is good to eat for me to work with they know how to get the the resources they need whether it's the adult going to be adult my own daughter the youngest did a full IB program in high school and she would come at she she was always trying she had was a public school and we almost zero amount of time with counselor or advisor and she would say no one I know went to the advisor but my daughter new to go and trusted this adult so she went to the advisor and all through high school she develop relationship with the advisor and the advisor was there when she needed to start looking at colleges and figure out where to go or how to manage her IB program so I don't like to think or have they terminology of a Montessori school with a soft skills the skills were talking about are not socks they are innate they become a part of you to you self Advocate you find what you need you go to The Reef and the academics will come that doesn't mean some kids are going to not be better at chemistry and some kids are not going to be better at you know the Fine Arts they're going to have their interest are going to have their skills but they will follow through on his mind who is a Montessori teacher for daughter is going into her junior year and she basically had her freshman and more teacher say you really don't have to do that much work at every for every project they are thorough so once again I I think the app it part is it's always there they are going to have the academics that they need in the Middle School those teachers are going to work with them to be sure that they know how to construct sentences write paragraphs write essays that is part of they will be exposed to and they they they will learn how to do those things whether you see those things regularly with an adolescent maybe yes I mean it may not feel strong for you but I do not know any one that went through the child Keys adolescent program that has not done extremely well and for the most part gets into the high schools that want to get into we do have our operation director shoot you want to add anything to that put that person on the spot hopefully I said the right answer there I mean they're reversing into Society so we can see them want to figure out who they are as people who they are as members of society and we form that MicroSociety inside or out of the classroom where they can find their roles they can figure out what they need to be how to interact out of work as a group so these are all skills that they'll learn and then they can take that into any field any environment any academic we want to go to Bravo just depends on the person that's actually working with the Adolescent in real time yes I agree mine is going into that program all right so I think that any any anyone else all right well that faces to the end thank you so much for your time we appreciate you and look forward to talking to you soon okay and to all you parents thank you for coming at 6 on a Friday night 3 days before school starts and I wish you all a great really really great wonderful new school year. going to hopefully be more normal than the last two and I wish my best to Nina and her new role

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