Fish Are Not It, Part 2

By: Abigail Garza

            I've written about how much I hate fish before; you can find it in the High School Corner. So here I was, perfectly fine hating on fish, and then I found out I had to go on a whole field trip based on those uncaught sushi dishes. 

            Last week, I went to the worst place I've ever visited, Florida. It was always hot and humid, like Houston but worse. What was I supposed to do, learn? The worst part was even if I wanted to learn, it would have to be about fish. I couldn’t pick a worse topic if I tried.

Apparently, iguanas (one of the only cool animals in Florida) are invasive and supposed to be killed. Why don’t we just kill the fish instead? Everywhere I looked, it was all about protecting marine biodiversity, so I’m sure there's plenty of fish to spare.

The most common fish I was forced to snorkel with were these tiny little blue ones. They had terminal mouths (that means they’re mid-range feeders) so they're too stupid to realize there’s food above and below them and end up only eating whatever’s right in front of their stupid little fish faces.

Another dumb looking fish I had to be around was the barracuda. Thankfully, there weren't that many. I don’t know if I could deal with so many uglies around me. I’m surprised my eyes didn’t start hurting from just looking at them. Their bodies were fusiform (tiny at the start and end but a bit wider in the middle) so that they can swim better, which seems kind of pointless. I can swim just fine without looking deformed.

            One more fish I’m sick and tired of is the jellyfish. Technically, they aren’t fish since they’re invertebrates, but they have fish in the name, which is already enough for me to hate them. It doesn’t help that they don’t have brains, so it’s not even an insult to call them dumb, just a fact. The jellyfish didn’t even realize they almost bumped into me. I had to get out of their way or else they’d sting me with their stinging cells. Like, it’s clearly not my fault you’re floating next to me. I don’t want to be near you either.

            Wait, why do I know so much about these fish I don’t even like? Oh no, I’ve learned without even noticing. Learning about fish? This can’t be real… Now that I think about it, the more I know about fish the better. That way, it’ll be easier to take them down. This trip was supposed to be about saving fish, but it actually gave me knowledge on my worst enemy. Soon, I’ll use what I've learned to end them, once and for all.